In her book “Body for Life”, Debbie Linn MP states that “Without self-image, we’d never become who we are. Our self-image determines our behaviors, our attitudes and how we use our physique. It’s how we feel about ourselves.” She built this statement on a unique theory: that if we think that we are no good, if we don’t feel worthy of anything, if we take ourselves and our self-worth for granted, and finally, if we’ve never seen ourselves as others see us, then no amount of affirmation or recognition from others will change what we’ve accepted as our truth about ourselves. We have to start from ourselves. The goal will not be reached if we continue to tell ourselves negatively.
If we begin to accept our worth and value as a human being, if we do not beat ourselves up and have an attitude of “not enough” or of “being messed up” because we’ve done something wrong, if we have a healthy self-esteem, most likely the mirror of our negative self-judgment and self-disjudgment will be reduced or will not exist at all. In clinical psychology there are many therapies aimed at reducing the self-judgmental attitude that results from early childhood experiences. These therapies deal with anxieties around the idea of self-acceptance as a normal part of normal development. When you think positive thoughts about yourself, when you hold your head high, feel good about your accomplishments versus flaw, and constructed goals in line with your strengths and weaknesses, not only does the relationship strengthen, your self-esteem will stand firm for you to change and improve it.
According to Maxwell Maltz, best-selling author behind the “Psycho-Cybernetics” series and a world renowned plastic surgeon, there are seven general principles he believes, not simply the concept of positive thinking. These principles are communicated in “the self-fulfilling prophecy”. He believes that your attitude and your self-image determine your level of success and your self-esteem. Self-esteem can also be defined as self-confidence in your beliefs, values, skills, opinions and abilities. Most importantly, the idea of self-esteem involves the feelings you have for yourself, when you think about yourself in comparison to others, and how you feel about yourself when you think in general.
According to Maltz, our self-esteem influences cognitions our emotions and our physical development. In other words, our self-esteem is a definite product of the operation of the whole, the sum of your self-image and a situation that you interpret as life-shattering, an emotional extension of your self-worth (after all, how does life appear to you). The positive impact of your self-esteem has a strong effect on your self-objective and your self-reflections. By thinking about yourself in comparison to others or yourself in general, you will inevitably make these judgments and impressions that create your self-evaluation. Again, this is the quantity that makes the difference to how you feel about yourself. Don’t forget that your feelings are all in the state of being (happy, sad, anxious or angry), and that being the state, it is your state of mind. Changing your self-perceptions about yourself is easier and an unlimited source of energy and motivation than you think.
However, each person has a limited set of traits and characteristics that actually make up their character. What Maltz says is that there is no such human being with a permanent character. Those memorable periods of time and experiences in our lives are part of the “experience and development” that allows us to build up our personal character over time. Another way of saying this is that we tend to acquire our character incrementally.
More specifically, Maltz believes that our development moves up through stages of development (as opposed to the character development model which focuses on a lifetime of development). In other words, by sending us to school to earn an “attitude of importance”, we are then cereal-timeously equipped with a solid foundation and character traits when our parents are sufficiently old and experienced enough to help us develop our basic character.
As humans we have developed ideas of what we and our body should look like and, to a certain extent, have “characterized our personality” with rituals and routines. Once we discarding these unhelpful rituals and routines, our character defies the norms. The cost of our habits and rituals is high. We have to live up to all the expectations that we receive whenever we enter a new situation or form a new relationship. However, we also fail to use the positive impact of our self-esteem and self-worth to help us bring out the best that we have to offer.